Learning

It is a nice idea to learn something new everyday. Here are some things I have learned,or relearned,recently:

• Boy cuts rock, especially on older women, as opposed to the "grandma" [the short perm look] and buns [or variations on buns/wraps/braids] hair. Yes. When my hair goes gray, it will also be going short. Looks hot. 
• Money is always coming and going. It is better to not get attached to it, when you have it or when you don't. 
• I am good at what I do. And people in my life love me. I have friends. 
• Shaving is not as arduous as I thought.
• Making excuses only hurts you and others. 
• Good things are worth waiting for. Also worth letting go when they are gone. 
• It is okay to leave some,maybe most,books unread or unfinished.

Haunting

I had the realization tonight, that I am horrified of running into my ex-husband. As much as I try and pretend everything is okey-dorey... things ended with him telling me he never wanted to see me again or talk to me again. Now, it has been two and a half years since we split up. And we have never run into one another randomly yet. But I feel like, living in the same town, it is only a matter of time. And then what?

"Oh, hi there. how are you? hope you have gotten over some of you issues. I know i have been working on mine. no hard feelings by the way,right?"

Or do we just do an awkward glaring/glancing thing, and not speak?

Or do I go ninja and karate chop him?

See my dillema?

Maybe I should leave town... I keep telling everyone how much I want to... that should eliminate some of the anxiety, eh? Or would it only make it increase with the decreased, and therefore dramatically increased chance that we would run into each other randomly. I mean, seeing him at a local coffee shop is much more probable than running into him at the foreign [perhaps Europe-bound?] airport as he is arriving and I am leaving the country... So in some parallel universe, the mere fact that it is less probable begs the question of making it more probable, just so I trip out wondering how/why the universe fucks with me so...

Or I could just let it go...

Ha!

Yellow, Brown and Red


Sometimes, in public restrooms, I have to consciously remember to flush the toilet. I live in a house where you only flush if it is brown or red. I think it is funny. I also think it is time to evaluate what we do and why we do things. The time for doing something because, "that's how it's done," is an old and dangerous idea. Let us move towards conscious living and awareness. Lets break some of the rules that need to be broken. 

To save a life.


"I had the money to buy her life."


I heard an interesting story today. One line stood out to me. A woman was paying for a surgery for a small girl in Africa. Through encouraging this medical procedure, a small African family was left without the oldest daughter as well as their mother for three months. The daughter ended up dying anyways. The woman was devastated, and made the comment, "I had the money to buy her life." Buying life. Because technology is there, life is possible, some people get to play God in the influence that they have over others. Are they task-masters? Saviors? People with good intentions who cause irreparable damage? How do you play God, and what is the degree of your awareness in these situations?

To be naked. 


I would love to be naked everywhere I go. 
I would like you to be naked to.
No clothes.
No barriers. 
No secrets.


We could be comfortable in that.


I was walking today, contemplating how strange as "Homo sapiens" we are above the animal kingdom. We wear clothes. Does any other creature participate in such a ridiculous notion? Not that I know of. And yet that has been our key to survival, I would assume, from the very beginning of our history. Why do we wear clothes?


To stay warm.
For protection.
To express our sense of self.


Clothing is commonly given as a gift. I rarely wear any of the clothes that are given to me by others. Often, they are all wrong for me. They aren't something I would ever wear myself. And yet, I claim to not care how I look. I throw on whatever comes to mind or hand first, and then deal with the consequences.